trying to improve myself
This trip to philly has taught me that i am psicotic. I judge way to much. I jump to conclusions try to read people and prepare myself so that i do not get hurt. However in the process of doing so, i hurt others along with myself. I have such a fear of STDS and a fear of being judged that i judge and try to catch them in the act of backstabbing me. I wish i could learn how to trust people more. I need to give up on the idea of everyone being my best friend and demanding so much. But i need to just let go and live my life. Maybe i need zanex=p i hope not, but if it comes down to it, maybe thats what i need.
I want to say sorry for those who i have hurt, due to my cruel ways. I promise i will do my best to have the benefit of the doubt. I just hope its physicaly and mentaly possible for me to do it with out drugs. Please pray for me. I am going to the psicologist to figure out how to deal with my mental health issues
